DoomBloomDialectic [he/him, they/them]

200+ is just wild. i think id quit the site after something like that. the internet truly is just bad for you…

site’s bumming me out. late 2022ish - late 2024 really felt like the Golden Age of chabear, vibes been off since then. felt like a genuinely safe space by internet standards for a while, but feels like ambient toxicity has been on a steady incline since last fall. before that most of the hostility was isolated to the struggle sessions - which still sucked and obviously were upsetting for those involved, but generally easy to avoid til they blew over. i just feel like everyone could afford to remind themselves semi-regularly that being Correct Online doesn’t matter 95-99% of the time.

sorry if this counts as metaposting - tbh i don’t fully understand what metaposting is, or at the very least when it crosses over into rule breaking territory vs. just informally talking about the site. it’s cool if this post needs to get got, this online shit doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. and maybe that hits the core of the issue, that the internet broadly is what’s bumming me out more than hexbear specifically

yeah he’s got a bit of churlishness/troll energy to him in the books. but i also found this section genuinely sweet, it feels like he’s really looking out for his buddy & comrade’s hurt feelings. it’s also right after gandalf falls so it shows him stepping into his leadership role in a kind/caring way.

had a similar situation seeing a comrade on r/trueanon, but in that case fae wasn’t even really trying in terms of opsec

there’s a cute section in fellowship of the ring where the elves want to blindfold gimli on the walk through lothlorien and aragorn basically says “aw c’mon man it hurts his feelings when you single him out like that” and so insists the whole fellowship be blindfolded alongside him

IMO they should’ve adapted this into the movie, there’s a lot of added comic relief in the movies that kinda sux and feels forced - this would be a wholesome, more organic scene of comic relief that actually builds the relationships between the characters.

i still fw the movies though don’t get me wrong

i know that, ackshully, lord of the rings is one big book only published in its three segments at the insistence of Tolkiens publisher…

but for the sake of putting Good Boy Points on the board in terms of annual books read, i am going to count each of the three parts as one. which puts me at….two completed books this year :/

so uh…“securely” attached “people,” what’s the deal w/ that???

if u cannot handle me at stavvys world u donnot deserve me at cushvlog

SIKE! (…?)

alright…it’s high time i put this mawkish arc to bed (the “Listen to Birdsong & the Laugh of Friendship; Feel the Firm Embrace of Community & the Gentle Caress of a Lover; Smell the Feverish Sweetness of a Midsummer Breeze” Arc) (more crudely known as “touching grass”)

time to retvrn to stream of consciuosuness drunkposting

reject the hedonic treadmill: to win the internet today is to merely plant the seed of desire that longs to win the internet tomorrow, the next day, two weeks from now, a month, a year…

not even those in the highest echelons of powerposting can hope to reach such idealized heights. nor would such a thing be desirable even if possible b/c of its diminishing returns, the burning out of our dopamine receptors.

but to live, day-to-day, as a Good Gentlesir?? this is a path to longer-lasting, sustainable, gentler happiness - the steady, peaceful stream of contentment from a life well-lived

cw cushposting ()

holy fuck i don’t know if i watched the last cushvlog that came out literally days before matt’s stroke at the time, but it is actually insanely veil piercing how relevant & prescient it is considering what happened. my lens for the world still very much defaults to thinking that sort of thing is coincidence, but jesus…

miss his insights and wisdom, but happy he seems to be recovering in his own way and carving out a new vision of happiness for himself. but could really use his analysis considering all the that’s happened since…

well…IMO the book does a better job of depicting its full suite of powers

idk, i think it’s pretty cool - even though the the movies dropped the ball in adapting some of this i still feel like it comes through that the invisibility is just scratching the surface, and the ring carries an air of mystique & dread. plus i like how its seductive power is depicted in the movies, and the how it always seems heavier than its size would warrant. i do also feel like they could have adapted some if its other powers more directly and that was a missed opportunity, like the scene of Frodo dominating Gollum would have been really cinematic & cool in the medium of film.

Want to echo that the direct approach is good if done respectfully! Expressing this stuff directly can be easier said than done ofc, it can be really really nerve wracking, especially if you’re already prone to social anxiety.

“I hope it goes without saying that I’d love to continue being friends if this is one-sided or a bad idea for any reason, but…proceeds to express interest directly” worked well for me last time this came up in my own life. though it was admittedly preceded by a couple of no expectations hangouts and I kind of did wait for a moment where it “felt right.” best of luck!!

hehe just to clarify, this was def a bantery/not serious/teasing exchange between me and her and i was playing up my upsetness for a laugh (much like…a rascal might??? 🤔)

i do appreciate the concern and sincerity regardless

innocent mischief maker vs nasty bog creature nourished by mild-to-moderate expressions of irritation & emotional distress :/

the person i’m seeing told me i am less of a “rascal” and more of a “troll” - and frankly?? i feel f*cking shattered…

unseen at levels i did not think were possible, previously

separation is what’s real - feelings of oneness, illusory

this is probably bad opsec but i was leading the planning of a fun soft power cultural event series in my organizing life but it got owned by IP/licensing law BS & so my pet project never happened & i am still very bummed about it

yeah for me, i think the assuming of worst faith, jumping down people’s throats for innocuous shit (or at least, non-ill-intended shit), and dunking/owning/winning arguments as a form of currency just feel too baked into the cultural architecture of the medium of the internet to fully escape it. hexbear is generally a lot better than the rest of what’s out there, but it’s not immune by any means.

and as far as the explicitly political end of the internet, the mistaking of doing discourse/having the correct opinions online for actually Doing Politics/being a political actor is also kind of inherent. again, people are a lot more cognizant of that trap on this site than others, but it’s still baked in to a degree.

i’d probably follow your example of shooting for once a week of internet time, but i have a high downtime job in front of a computer most of the day. so here i am