• ericatty@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    When it hasn’t happened in a while (or it’s one of the first times) you can forget in the moment.

    It’s like swimming under water and realizing you are running out of air so you start to surface, but something wraps around your foot and you can’t go up anymore.

    Almost everyone feels panic at this. Your brain and body try to fight, your heart is racing. It’s the terror of being trapped in the dark, not knowing what caught you.

    With that type of terror most people don’t think to just go to sleep and the problem will go away. We panic and struggle.

    Imagine that feeling, except you can breathe (usually) but you are trying to scream, to move any part of you and fall out of bed, or to get someone’s attention so they’ll help you. But no one hears you, they stand near but don’t help, and you realize you are paralyzed. Bonus points if you can see and hear them (while in reality no one is there and your eyes are closed, but you don’t know this yet)

    You don’t know if what is happening is real. It seems real.

    Are you really paralyzed or is it a dream? If you go to sleep, will you wake up back to normal, will you die, will you wake up later still paralyzed? You want to cry because you can’t remember enough of yourself to be sure what will happen.

    Time is distorted. This could be mere seconds, minutes, or hours. How long has it been?

    If pink elephants in silver tutus start smoking pipes and debating the best cheeses, you feel relief. For me, the sleep demon showing up is a relief, because the brain starts to calm down and think wtf, this is a crazy dream.

    At this thought you finally snap awake.

    Hopefully next time you can realize sooner and control it.