Where are all my transhet sisters?
I love the queer community and I feel like the more I work on myself, the less accepted I will be as a queer person.
For example, I joined a queer friend-finding app recently which didn’t have an option to label myself heterosexual. At first I went stealth and didn’t list my sexuality, and I got lesbians calling me a tease. I made a public post about being transhet and I mostly got messages from weird cis men.
I’m going to look for friends only under the trans umbrella for now, online and irl.
To that end: I like pop music, knitting, and politics. Please tell me your favorite online communities and people to follow!
I think a lot of people struggle with how others perceive their queer identity changing through transition. I’m sorry you were gatekept on that app and that you’ve been made to feel unwelcome in queer spaces. :( Being trans is queer and you deserve to feel welcomed in queer spaces. This issue doesn’t get talked about enough, the way sometimes queer communities devolve into organizing people into hierarchies based on “how queer” others perceive them. I hope that you find your experience in this transfem community open and accepting of you and your experience.
Thank you it already seems to be a welcoming space! I agree that queer spaces should be more accepting of, for lack of a better word, conforming individuals. My style is somewhat subdued, and I admire and appreciate the diversity of style in the queer community, but I just wish it didn’t seem like a requirement to stand out.