Fishe

I was going to make a dad joke and say something about how smoking is bad for you, but nobody wants dad jokes now of days

I love salmon. My mom makes salmon from time to time and its always tasty.

That looks good, you have inspired me to smoke a fish

I used to get smoked salmon from the rez. They’d slice the flesh into cubes on the skin (like how you are supposed to cut a mango) and slow smoke it till it was like leather. The fat content would keep it moist and it’d be like chewy greasy fishy salty lumps of goodness.

yum gib feesh

Been vibing to this song about salmon lately. Everything Smells Like Salmon on yewtube

but had to look just to make sure it didn’t look like it was a total disaster and maybe dangerous. People post wild ass food all the time thinking it’s okay. Anyway, thr professional part of me thst cooks for a living and does need to know if meat has been made good, this has been made good. So uhhhh…stop eating it, but it looks like you did a good job. I have a vegan lox recipe that is really good if you wanna try it sometime, it takes a few tries to really get it down, but if you do, it’s 1:1 with like a decent smoked salmon, like one you might get already done from a grocery store, however, there is a chance that legit smoking it may get it there. So the recipe is as follows and if you ever wanna try doing an actual smoke to it I would be absolutely fascinated with the results and if it doesn’t work I may be able to suggest other stuff. I don’t have access to a smoker besides my own addiction to cigarettes, so if you ever have the time or desire to indulge me I’d love some feedback, I’m a food nerd and doing different stuff with common vegan foods has been my jam and possible way out of working as a line cook and having my own thing going. I’ve discovered that you can make tempeh or tofu out of any legume, not just soy beans and that’s been and absolute new world of cuisine opened.

So to make a rant short, if you can and want to plz try this for me and report back if you do! Cannot overstress, this is just me sending a recipe and wanting feedback should it appeal and you try it, you’ve got the tools that I don’t and eat fish so you can compare, so, absolutely don’t take it as an ask, but if it appeals and you try it, I wanna hear about it!

So, recipe. I’m not good at writing out portions cause I’m going from memory and eyeball literally everything, I’ve double checked with a scale and I can nail what 3 grams of yeast is by looking at it, so I’m gonna be imprecise as hell but I’ll try my best.

So your ‘salmon’ is carrot pulp, if you have a juicer make carrots juice and save the pulp after, if not, this is gonna be harder. Put like a whole bag of carrots in a blender, hit liquify, drain the liquid, repeat until the carrot is now essentially a paste. Squish that paste into squares or patties or whatever. Marinate them in a mix of apple cider vinegar, a lot of salt, caper pickling liquid (capers come in later), arame and or dulce or any dried seaweed and a teaspoon or so of old bay. Let that thing soak overnight. Take er out and drain it under a brick or something super heavy and then smoke it. Otherwise the recipe also has liquid smoke in play. The practicality of the same recipe using real smoke interests the absolute hell out of me, but once again only try if you are interested.

Why is there a content warning lool

Looks like you got it just right.

we smokin salmon