Not the most recent, because this happened years ago, but I once managed to run over my own hand with an office chair – while I was sitting on it.
That’s pretty amazing actually. How did you manage such a feat?
I noticed I had dropped a piece of paper, and one of the wheels was on top of it. I tried to do a little hop to quickly pull the paper out, and somehow I landed on the hand pulling the paper.
So technically I more hopped onto more than ran over the hand, but I took some narrative liberties for comedic effect.
Thanks for the update. Hopping instead of running over doesn’t take any points from the feat. Good job!
Mine is a textbook example of a self inflicted knife wound that involved separating frozen burger patties with a very sharp knife. Knife slides between the patties and into the palm of my hand. I managed to not pass out and make it to urgent care where they stitched the cut together. Still have some nerve damage. Don’t do stupid things with sharp knives kids.
Or dull knives. Maybe butter knives but that’s as far as I’d go.
A sharp knife is a safe knife, a dull knife is a dangerous knife.
I like “A sharp knife does what you want. A dull knife does what it wants.”
A sharp knife that’s supposed to be sharp is a safe knife.
A sharp knife that’s supposed to be dull (like a butter knife) is a dangerous one.
That’s fair, it is all about the knife being predictable.
Someone had downvoted you and I find that really odd.
I’ve got nerve damage on two fingers tips, one on each hand, from incidents 20+ years apart. Fucking sucks trying to fish a screw out of a small space, stuff like that. And yes, both times I was being extraordinarily stupid and earned a lifetime handicap.
I was opening a box that was taped shut with a screwdriver, pulling it towards myself to rip open the tape. The rest of the tape went a lot faster than I was expecting, and since I was still pulling I wound up jabbing myself in the stomach (just bruised, I’m fine).
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Had me in the first half, NGL.
I can’t believe the box was taped shut with a screwdriver
Haha, I probably should have written that more coherently, huh
Gosh that’s usually one of those mistakes you only make once. Just thrust the opposite direction next time please 🙏
I will, and I promise to be controlled and purposeful with my thrusting in the future 😁
me and knives and cutters of any sort do not get along. i usually use a key on my keychain to open taped boxes (like from mail order). just poke it on one end and run it through. no risk to anything. i still have the last scar from the last time i used a knife to open a box, years ago.
Thumbed myself in the eye trying to catch a ball. Saw double for a bit.
Oof 😥
It was an embarrassing moment of obscene un-coordination.
10 minutes before this comment, I was washing a knife and it accidentally slipped from my hands. Obviously instincts take over first and I grabbed it. The tip of the knife placed itself perfectly on my pinky.
A falling knife has no handle. Just have to retrain that reflex so you get your hands and feet clear and pick it up after.
Many times reflex got me moving and I froze at the last second. Of course my reflexes are nearly superhuman. So fine that I’ve stood and watched a knife fall and stab me in the foot. (More than once.)
Hope your finger has healed up well from that unfortunate stabbing incident, just did something similar with my middle finger and a utility knife. Tried snapping off the top segment so I could use the next blade but it slipped and, not being in the kitchen, I wasn’t thinking about its knife-like attributes so the grab impulse made a mess of things. To make it even dumber, I’d been gripping the used blade with some pliers with the idea that it’d be safer but if I’d done it the usual way (which I think of as somewhat dangerous), I probably would have been paying more attention and might not have dropped it in the first place.
Good news is that the next blade is definitely sharp, bad news is that now it has a taste for flesh. Oh well, at least my tetanus is up to date and it’s not a poop knife like in that one story from the old place.
Sleeping. Woke up one day to frozen shoulder. Two years of physio and it’s still not right. Fucking aging. Being 50+ sucks arse.
Our bed adjusts via remote control, which my toddler loves to play with. That little shit tweaked it just enough for me not to notice, but enough for my neck to hurt for an entire week.
I reached for something. mid-40s…
Paper cut on a friggin fry cup at work.
Left the cupboards open and then did dishes within 5 minutes and after leaning down, I hit my head on one of the open cabinet doors.
Not recent, but sneezing and holding it in. Threw my back so bad I couldn’t walk for weeks. Ever since then, I’ll let it rip – into my elbow or a napkin.
A few months ago, saw a medical scan of someone with a big tear in their throat. The story claimed it was due to a held sneeze. Nowadays, you shouldn’t believe anything on the internet, but after my own experience, I could see how it might happen.
I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.
Using a mandolin slicer to cut a cucumber, got too close and the tip of my finger ended up in the cuke bowl
Cut-resistant gloves are a must for a mandolin!
Did the fingerprint grow back?
It was still barely hanging on by a bit so I superglued it down, small scar on the side but otherwise back to normal
i continually rotate the angle of the cutted object so that there is more force concentrated at a smaller impact area.
also when i start reaching the end i progressively slow way down. by the time i reach the nub i am either cutting with conventional knife or just slowly forcing the last bit through.
kinda sucks because its supposed to be fast.
A few days ago I cut my finger open on an extremely sharp bread knife. I knew the knife was sharp but I wanted to see how sharp, so I put my finger on it. It turns out that it was sharp enough to cut my finger.
I’m 35.
At least I know the stove is hot
Yes, but how hot is it exactly?
Not a serious injury just poor technique. Was sharpening like 10 knives on a stone and didn’t realize I was grinding some of my guide finger also.
Oh god. Did that after the last hurricane. Didn’t have power so I got drunk and sharpened every knife in the house. Didn’t notice I was wiping the super-fine stone until much later when I realized quite a bit of skin got polished off.
Thank god I’m not alone, haha
At least no one can say you aren’t the sharpest.
pizza.
ya, you know what happened. it’s still peeling off on the inside of my mouth.
