I’m 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I’ve been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don’t have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I’m the “odd old lady”. I think people past 40 don’t really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I’m overweight so I can’t really use apps, and to be honest don’t really want. So how a single woman without kids (can’t have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol

    • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      11 months ago

      Okay, so with hobbies, stuff you’re already interested in is a good start, but it might be helpful to explore some “guy hobbies” in the sense of like, find some hobbies that are more popular with men, and then find one that sounds like it could be interesting to you, and try to find a local group based on that. If you pursue groups with larger percentage of men, it’s easier to find someone you’re potentially interested in and vice-versa.

      Just make sure you’re pursuing a hobby you’ll actually end up liking. Don’t be afraid to be like “Yeah, this actually isn’t for me.” That’s up to and including “These men are just not receptive to a woman in this space.” (You don’t want to waste your time with gatekeeping men)

      Like, you’d be hard pressed in tech groups, which kind of have a history of being stuck up when it comes to women in “their” spaces (nevermind that women programmed the computers on the moon missions back in the day because typing was “women’s work” *rolls eyes).

      Football or soccer might be a little easier, there’s still a lot of women in those circles, and less dopey men gatekeeping, at least in my experience . There’s still some of that, but I think women being into sports is more accepted than it used to be, compared to tech spaces.

      A lot of guys are into role-playing tabletop games like Dungeons & Dragons, and while you can run into a lot of way too sheltered men in those groups, you can also run into really talented men who are good at math, acting, and strategy who are relatively well-adjusted. Stephen Colbert famously played a lot while he was growing up, and he attributes it to at least some of his acting and comedy skills.