• Octopus1348@lemy.lol
      41·
      11 months ago

      It will also complain that trying to break into the castle is unsafe, so you have to tell it that you know.

      • CanadaPlus@futurology.todayEnglish
        9·
        11 months ago

        “Alright, but you better be outside of a properly locked up and OSHA-compliant castle with the princess by the time I get back, or I’m not compiling”

        And then you do that, but you miss a smoldering ember from one of the castles torches, and everything including the horse and princess catches fire. Next time, pick an escape plan that only requires unsafe for the drawbridge.

        There’s a totally safe way to do it too, I guess, but it involves building a series of replacement castles, and it’s also totally ugly and sinfully slow.

    • Troy@lemmy.ca
      78·
      11 months ago

      You have python. You import antigravity. The princess flies off into space. You monkey patch the princess so she has wings.

    • psud@aussie.zone
      8·
      11 months ago

      No perl either. Much like python you find a relevant library (in cpan), but unlike python there will be seven different implementations, and any four perl devs will come up with at least ten solutions, nine of which will successfully rescue the princess

      • evranch@lemmy.ca
        6·
        11 months ago

        Everything will seem to be be going great, but to actually gain access to the castle you’ll have to compare your situation to successful rescues to find the undocumented drawbridge control

    • bob_lemon@feddit.de
      27·
      11 months ago

      map(lambda princess: princess.rescue(), [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles])

      • scratchresistor@thelemmy.club
        7·
        11 months ago

        Don’t forget to keep your return values…

        rescued_princesses = [{"princess": princess, "rescued": princess.rescue()} for princess in [castle.get_princess() for castle in castles]]

  • ilinamorato@lemmy.world
    68·
    11 months ago

    You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)

    You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)

    You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)

  • agent_flounder@lemmy.worldEnglish
    40·
    11 months ago

    Omg Lisp. I’m dying. Our object oriented programming class in college involved programming in Scheme. This was… a while ago.

    Saving this forever.

    • Lawyerator@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      14·
      11 months ago

      Yup, Scheme was the only programming language taught in our comp-sci department so we could “learn how to learn.” Two years and a broken parentheses button later, and I switched to being a theatre major.

      Today, my legal career stands as a testament to the pointlessness of a declared major.

  • EnderMB@lemmy.world
    40·
    11 months ago

    Always good to see Jon Skeet get some love. I’d love to know in terms of quantity just how many people he’s helped over the last decade or so.

  • Aceticon@lemmy.world
    33·
    11 months ago

    You use Assembly.

    You describe each and every leg movement and each and every step to the castle and over the castle bridge and inside the castle.

    You somehow end up in the castle kitchen.

    • sunbeam60@lemmy.one
      18·
      11 months ago

      Or more precisely. You end up in a dark room. You’re not sure it’s in the castle.

      • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
        8·
        11 months ago

        And the only way back is by counting every step you took on the way in, and if you miss one, the castle buries you.

  • Nailbar@sopuli.xyz
    21·
    11 months ago

    PHP 8 makes it finally possible to rescue the princess, but you accidentally princess the rescue instead.

  • akash_rawal@lemmy.world
    21·
    11 months ago

    You have rust.

    You get a horse and arrive at the castle within seconds but the horse is too old and doesn’t work with the castle.

    You remove the horse, destructure the castle and rescue the princess within seconds, but now you have no horse.

    While you’re finding a compatible horse and thinking whether you should write your own horse, Bowser recaptures the princess and moves her to another castle.

  • EvilHaitianEatingYourCat@lemmy.world
    19·
    11 months ago

    So let me summarise this:

    Only C and Lisp actually completed the initial task of getting the princess free, and Author clearly favors C over the drooling and homeless lisp hacker. Also, turns out, C greatest weakness helped to save not only the princess but everything she ever possessed! How convenient!

    • Shareni@programming.dev
      1·
      11 months ago

      Naah, C stabbed himself in both of his feet while planning. The rest of it is his dying mind hallucinating saving the princess.

      Lisp is the true hero, but the author has parenthophobia

  • felbane@lemmy.world
    234·
    11 months ago

    Rust: You declare the castle type as unsafe and then search for a crate with a rescue_princess function. You discover the princess you rescued is a femboy wolfkin named Pawws. You now have pubic lice and an inexplicable smug sense of superiority.