I want my best friend alive again, and the cancer to be gone. He can have the third.
I’d give all three of mine to this guy.
Sorry for your loss ;(
- Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
- Give me the ability to see/hear remote locations at will.
- Give me Jessica Jones style mind-control, but without needing to be physically present.
'scuse me while I go unfuck some shit.
Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
“SEE! We told you the problem would fix itself! Now we don’t need to take any action to better ourselves for the sake of the environment!”
Luckily you thought of that and using your third wish, you can fix it properly.
Infinite wishes
Fool! I wish for infinite wishes plus one!
inifinity + 1 = infinity
Try ℵ₁ wishes!
ℵ₁ +1! Gotcha!
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Motivation to complete anything I decide to do.
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General happiness with life.
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Good health for my immediate family and I for 50 years.
I mean, you could have solved starvation and global peace, but those are nice too.
You’re welcome to solve those if you want.
Don’t highroad wishes.
And always drink Bailey’s from a shoe
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A post scarcity society
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World peace
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The eradication of authoritarianism
and capitalism (which would be the case under #1 but don’t underestimate human greed)
Capitalism is ultimately bourgeoisie authoritarianism
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a private reality which obeys whatever rules i want it to.
the ability to interface this reality with any others, as well as disconnect it, at will.
shit. this is top tier wishing right here
don’t forget to make your first wish “if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices”
since we’re supposed to not be dealing with a monkey paw/genie situation, i didn’t use it this way, but in general I’d recommend making it your first wish under any such circumstances.
rephrase as necessary to further weed out possible loopholes.
Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.
Fix ignorance/hate
Fix capitalism & greed
An Commodore 64, 7 million dollars, and a garbage can that never gets full
Every house needs an incinerator
and no one will ever need more than 64k of ram
Best I can do is a C64 emulator …
I miss my first computer 😢
A monkeys paw mechanic for everyone in this thread except for me, the annullment of my own bodily needs (eg. sleep, food, water), and i dunno, maybe a cool rock
You are later crushed by your cool rock. Not because of a monkey paw but everybody else is so mad they drop it on you.
Haw haw reverse uno I use my monkey paw wish to wish the same upon to you also cool rock
1 - safety plan from other poster “if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices”
2 - maine plan - everyone wakes up to find out we are in a simulation and the real world is a post scarcity start trek like society but with total peace and harmony and none of the fighting
3 - backup plan - my own personal universe/dimension where I control all aspects of it and can enter it and leave it whenever I want. It exists outside of our time/space so when I enter and leave I can go anywhere within either as a destination-
Post scarcity society.
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Immortality.
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Infinite wishes.
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Omnipotence. Then I’m pretty much done.
After that, add Omniscience
Congratulations! You now have the same relationship to the universe that a programmer has to his code.
Good luck, and happy debugging
Everything will be LISP in the future
Not even necessary, with omnipotence you can do that youself. But a little mystery in life would still be fun, no?
Screw it! Just change the laws of reality so you can be omniscient and have mystery at the same time. Make it so those two things don’t conflict.
Yes! Give me all of the science!
Universal healthcare
Capitalism and authoritarianism eradicated
Everyone’s medical and student debt wiped
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Infinite positive-effects-only wishes (what I consider to be positive)
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Everyone now has empathy and selflessness, eliminating corruption, greed, stepping over each other, exploitation, etc.
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Post-scarcity society, eliminating class even more than the above, since everyone can own whatever they want. Basically a real life Replicator.
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Since I got infinite wishes, given number 3, society will have an even bigger trash problem than we already have. So a convenient, self-contained black hole we can put trash into, inventing a method of creating dark matter, revolutioning how we store energy, Futurama-style, which then becomes free due to post-scarcity.
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Healthy planet, healthy people, healthy animals, plants, etc. Also includes mental health (infinite wishes are nice)
A replicator solves the trash problem, you just throw the trash in the replicator and it breaks it down to build stuff.
I choose you to get the wishes. Your list is my list. I don’t wish for immortality - since I had kids, I’m disqualified. But 10x the lifespan with hundreds of years feeling like I do now, that would be nice, and with the replicator technology (who will get the manual on how to service these) the carrying capacity of the earth should be higher.
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what’s the monkey paw mechanic I’m confused
In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.
The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.
The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.
I wish you hadn’t asked that