How soon before someone is citing this article as evidence? 😩
The earth is only 6001 years old [1]!
😩
This evidence is certainly in contrast to those who believe, based on the writings of Charles Dickens alone, that the Earth is around 4.5 billion years old.
🤣 this writer is genius
I first went about the humane capture of the wildlife of C-100. A few peacocks were caught with bear traps, an iguana was captured via a falling piano, and a peacock bass was shot in the face with a shotgun, all in line with the standards set by the Florida Constitution [3].
Truly gold.
Edit: Didn’t realize this was Immaterial Science - my favorite is the FUPLC-NMR-CE6-GC-IR-ICP-MS-MS-MS-MS (pdf warning)
So this is obviously satire but reading this it just sounded way too close to current reality for comfort.
I know that parts of the document are acme levels over the top but other parts sincerely read as if written by your average Maga idiot
Poe’s Law.
At first I thought it was satire, but when I saw the writer had the scientific Pokédex entries I knew it was legit
We’re expected to believe that the peacocks personally recounted their lineage? In English? I feel like the author is just making things up at that point.
Well after these peacocks were crushed by a piano, they might have been unable to recount anything at all.
I dunno, but I feel like the author might have taken some creative liberties here…
I was tired of being a Darwinist. Now I follow the writings of Dickens; I’m a Dickhead.
You got me. This one is too good.
The first tell was the author using the first person, and the next tell was the piano falling.
2 Miami-Dade College, Kendall, FL, USA Department of Fictional Geology
Thankful I saw that first, very relieved.
I only read the abstract. So I missed the piano falling part entirely.
There are pokédex entry # for fossils!
That is exactly what clued me in.
“I first went about the humane capture of the wildlife of C-100. A few peacocks were caught with bear traps, an iguana was captured via a falling piano, and a peacock bass was shot in the face with a shotgun, all in line with the standards set by the Florida Constitution [3].”
You missed the pokedex entries too!
My fave part was the expired crispr kits, arbitrarily cut off at desired date.
The inclusion of Pokédex Entry numbers is great.
Also, I like the sources cited for the paper. One of them is “Pigeon-Elephant Theory: the real origin of humans – Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology by B McGraw”Is there money in writing crap “research” papers like this?
I would be fine doing this under a pseudonym. But I know UFO researchers really have to hustle a ton. So maybe not?
People also do this to take the piss out of a junk journal. Usually ones that let anything through
Ooooohhhh… That’s a thing? Let me guess, I have to pay to publish my ChatGPT-authored “research” proving that cats are actually aliens?
I have no idea, but I am guessing the religious right pays handsomely for anything “scientific” which supports their absolutely asinine beliefs.
Clicked thinking it was legit. Good find OP!
Thanks!
Only a few bites because people, understandably, aren’t biting that headline.
Share a screenshot of the article instead and they’ll be all over it.
