The state of the world haunts the back of my mind every day. I can never push it out.
I can feel brief moments of joy, but I can’t say I’m ever happy, not while the world is like this.
Maybe that very world is a dystopia where the U.S.'s iron grip is so solidified that it becomes clear that nothing can ever challenge it, so no one has any expectations that things “could” get better anymore. The same world where the unbreakable, invincible Israeli empire is established in the middle east and maybe beyond. Constant anxiety is replaced by a feeling of constant dread and sadness, as “U.S.-realism” or “colonial-realism” “genocide-realism” becomes the law of reality.
At that point, the only real option is to “escape” from this hellhole.
I hate how much of my self-worth is tied up in Capitalist ideology. I feel worthless as a human being because I don’t have work and am resorting to farming sweepstakes sites for a bit of income. I hate that society thinks I’m lazy or something is wrong with me because my brain isn’t geared to being a cubicle drone.