I’m confused and I don’t know how to ask questions about this topic without sounding like a mouth breather, I’m sorry for my autism: why label yourself at all then if there’s no rigid definition?
Wouldn’t it be easier to have no label rather than a label whose definitions do not fit you? My spouse is pansexual and doesn’t enjoy when people lump pansexuals and bisexuals together. I admittedly don’t understand entirely why and would like to hear from somebody bisexual who has an opposing opinion on that so I can better understand
The way I understand it, “bisexual” is a very broad term that encompasses all people who are attracted to people of the same (or a similar) gender as them and also to genders different than their own. That is the “bi” in bisexual, both homo and hetero, not attraction to men and women. Under this definition, pansexuals are a specific type of bi that are attracted to people equally, regardless of gender. There are other microlabels that fit within bisexual too, some of which might better fit how I experience attraction, but this is where we get into the function of a label.
Labels exist to convey general information in a concise way, without having to explain things all the time. Under the bi umbrella, there are only two terms which the average person who’s aware of the LGBT community might have heard of: bi and pan. Thus, unless you want to constantly have a definition at hand or send people to the wiki, you are heavily incentivized to use one of those terms. Having no label would be even worse, since then you would need to give a whole spiel every time you’re asked. It’s ultimately a pragmatic decision to use a term that more people recognize over one that might be more “technically correct.”
So, constrained to either bi or pan, I think bi is the more appropriate term for me. Sometimes I feel equally attracted to all genders, but my preferences towards similar and different genders shift back and forth, often being heavily favored in one direction or the other. So I use the broader term of bisexual to encompass the full spectrum of my feelings on the matter.
I probably fit the “inclusive bisexual” definition better but prefer the label pan. I also like the bi flag better so if I’m ever throwing a flag up it’s usually bi lol. I use pan because I’m agender and it feels kinda weird to say that gender is something I care about when it isn’t, but I find myself more attracted to people that present either androgynous or feminine, but not really masc (except for the ladies sometimes). All that to say, these labels are basically pointless and only serve to (poorly) provide a surface level summary of whatever the hell is going on in our heads
The other commenter gave you the right answer already. But I meant ‘in practice’ literally, as in, if the sexuality of someone matters to decide your course of action, like flirting with them or introducing a friend, they basically mean the same.
Now if you wanted to get technical, pansexual people are technically bisexual (?). Pansexuality would be a special case of bisexuality in which the attraction is equal across the entire gender spectrum.
But as rarWars said it’s hard to put identity into strict rigid definitions. If you think it too hard this model means that every sexuality is just a special case of bisexuality as well, ace is a special case of pan…
Then wouldn’t the “in practice” inclusive bisexual people be pansexual by definition
People don’t label themselves according to rigid definitions.
I’m confused and I don’t know how to ask questions about this topic without sounding like a mouth breather, I’m sorry for my autism: why label yourself at all then if there’s no rigid definition?
Wouldn’t it be easier to have no label rather than a label whose definitions do not fit you? My spouse is pansexual and doesn’t enjoy when people lump pansexuals and bisexuals together. I admittedly don’t understand entirely why and would like to hear from somebody bisexual who has an opposing opinion on that so I can better understand
I mean this with no judgement and much curiosity
Yeah, I’m happy to clarify.
The way I understand it, “bisexual” is a very broad term that encompasses all people who are attracted to people of the same (or a similar) gender as them and also to genders different than their own. That is the “bi” in bisexual, both homo and hetero, not attraction to men and women. Under this definition, pansexuals are a specific type of bi that are attracted to people equally, regardless of gender. There are other microlabels that fit within bisexual too, some of which might better fit how I experience attraction, but this is where we get into the function of a label.
Labels exist to convey general information in a concise way, without having to explain things all the time. Under the bi umbrella, there are only two terms which the average person who’s aware of the LGBT community might have heard of: bi and pan. Thus, unless you want to constantly have a definition at hand or send people to the wiki, you are heavily incentivized to use one of those terms. Having no label would be even worse, since then you would need to give a whole spiel every time you’re asked. It’s ultimately a pragmatic decision to use a term that more people recognize over one that might be more “technically correct.”
So, constrained to either bi or pan, I think bi is the more appropriate term for me. Sometimes I feel equally attracted to all genders, but my preferences towards similar and different genders shift back and forth, often being heavily favored in one direction or the other. So I use the broader term of bisexual to encompass the full spectrum of my feelings on the matter.
Hope that helps!
I probably fit the “inclusive bisexual” definition better but prefer the label pan. I also like the bi flag better so if I’m ever throwing a flag up it’s usually bi lol. I use pan because I’m agender and it feels kinda weird to say that gender is something I care about when it isn’t, but I find myself more attracted to people that present either androgynous or feminine, but not really masc (except for the ladies sometimes). All that to say, these labels are basically pointless and only serve to (poorly) provide a surface level summary of whatever the hell is going on in our heads
The other commenter gave you the right answer already. But I meant ‘in practice’ literally, as in, if the sexuality of someone matters to decide your course of action, like flirting with them or introducing a friend, they basically mean the same.
Now if you wanted to get technical, pansexual people are technically bisexual (?). Pansexuality would be a special case of bisexuality in which the attraction is equal across the entire gender spectrum.
But as rarWars said it’s hard to put identity into strict rigid definitions. If you think it too hard this model means that every sexuality is just a special case of bisexuality as well, ace is a special case of pan…