It is tough, but I’ve lived this way my entire life. Dating was competitive when I was dating, and I did not compete for women. I know of at least one girlfriend who left me because I wasn’t willing to fight for her attention.

Same with jobs. I’ve had my current role for 3 years. I remember paper resumes, but I haven’t used one since my first job. I’ve worked many jobs, even had my own business for a while, and my lack of competitive drive has certainly shaped the course of my career.

But I’ve never stepped on anyone to get ahead. I’ve never cheated anyone, or taken advantage of a client. I’ve had opportunities to take things I hadn’t earned, and I let those things go. I’ve never missed a baseball game or ballet recital, never chosen work over my kids or my wife. I haven’t always made the right choices, but I’m not ashamed of any of them.

Competition is healthy. Stong winds make strong trees. But a competitive spirit can cause people to compromise their values to win. Success isn’t always winning. Success is being the best person you can be.