I hope this question is not too weird (if so just tell me and I’ll delete it).
As a 21 year old guy from Germany I always admired Americans. What particularly impressed me was their social skills, their outgoing/confident nature and humor.
I don’t know if it’s also connected with being a German but I’m generally a very shy and introverted person. I have very strong social anxiety and just when someone in public or a neighbor sees me, it creates this overwhelming anxiety because I’m so scared that I will embarrass myself and be awkward because I have very bad self esteem and don’t know what to say and how to act. So most of the time I end up saying nothing and hiding myself which is very awkward or I say the bare minimum like to the grocery store cashier like only “Hello” and “Thanks, bye”. I have this extreme amount of shame that’s blocking me.
Germans might often generally be introverted or awkward but I’m on a whole different level.
Then Americans seem like this stark contrast which feels like the exact opposite. It feels like Americans are on a different level of confidence and extroversion than any country I know.
That makes it almost impossible for me to interact with an American as it creates this immense pressure on me (also cause English isn’t my native language).
Even on a daily basis the way they’re having small talks in grocery stores or talk to strangers that they’re walking by seems impossible for me. And I’m afraid that if I ever would go to the US and people talk to me that I would be extremely awkward and don’t say anything and wouldn’t be able to smile. And I’m afraid that this might come over as rude and they think bad of me.
I really would wanna interact with an American in person cause it seems like it could be so enriching but right now that seems impossible.
I was wondering if there is anything particular that makes Americans so good at that or if they have any secret. Or maybe they’re just on a different level cause they’re from the best country in the world and are the best/most capable people in the world.
Cause it’s my ultimate dream to be on that same level and interact with people like Americans.
Maybe it’s impossible for me to get to anything near that and I will simply never be good enough.
Fake it till you make it and fuck all the haters
I wish I could fake it but I literally have no clue how to. I don’t have the slightest idea how to behave extroverted in public and even if I would try to do it I would look even more awkward since I’m so insecure and it would seem very fake and weird (and I don’t wanna traumatize people with that level of awkwardness). The only place I’m able to be confident is when I’m on my own or I’m with good friends.
The thing is, you pay way more attention to your behavior than other people do. At least half of them out there have the exact same insecurities. For real. And they’re focused on themselves just like you are.
So it’s okay, just do your thing :)
So, you have to realize that you’re going to remember how you act waaay more than anyone else will. And even the most confident people make conversations awkward at times. Everyone is going to be awkward at times. You just have to laugh it off.
Literally call yourself out before the other person had the chance. “Dang, that was a bit awkward to say. My bad.”
It’s not going to be an overnight thing. Just start with a bit of time being confident everyday. You’ll be an American in no time.