As far as my life in the real world that I have to live goes: bitterly disappointed. As far as my sense of identity and beliefs go, happy. But also disappointed that I only got to this point when it basically seems like it’s too late.
I just hope that in this hypothetical situation where my 15 year old self gets a glimpse of me now, that it causes my 15 year old self to do things differently and have a great life in a parallel universe.
Just want to say, I was trying to answer your question without offloading too much, and I’m sorry that I kinda did. We all have problems and I don’t want to make mine yours or anyone else’s. I’m just feeling sorry for myself right now, that’s all. And I’ll probably magically feel better when I get my hands on some herb again. Tbh I’m thinking of deleting my first response because it’s a bit much. Thank you for being kind and asking tho.
Thank you, awesome person in my phone. It already made me smile early today getting this response, so hopefully today is better than yesterday. Basically the TL;DR is life is shit, everything to make it not shit costs more and more money, and money is scarce and hard to come by and hard to save or do anything worthwhile with when you’re just getting little bits of relief at a time.
But despite the downward spiral I was on yesterday, I do have half a plan of starving and neglecting myself a bit so that I can save up for that teaching English course. I’d love to actually go into programming because there’s probably better money in it but at this point, my brain is too stressed and frazzled for it. So first I need some basic income so that I can try the programming thing when I’m a little more comfortable and less worried about everything.
Thanks for telling me that. That’s a lot to juggle, you need money to survive in life. Nearly everything costs money, even water is billed and it’s sometimes horribly hard to make ends meet. Everything to make life less shit costs money. It grinds you away.
You’re being sensible and you know your limits, you know programming is good money but you’re too frazzled. Looking at alternatives is really sensible… you won’t learn well, and therefore won’t earn if you’re too frazzled to absorb programming. It’s not now or never you can put it on the back burner.
I’m glad you’re reaching out about it, it’s the right thing to do and you need and deserve our support right now. We’ve got your back
Thank you again, it definitely does help to let it out sometimes. And it’s nice to feel like you have a bit of community on here, as opposed to Reddit where you’re just another part of the crowd. I barely used to even look at people’s usernames on Reddit, this dynamic here on Lemmy where you see the same people regularly is new to me. At first I didn’t like it but it’s actually kinda cool.
On the note of recognising people around here, I’ve been wanting to ask. What’s up with the other account? Have you got an impersonator on lemmy.world or are you just trying different instances out of curiosity?
I’ve actually been considering making a second account for news and politics, then blocking all of that from this account so that I don’t have to despair and/or rage daily.
As far as my life in the real world that I have to live goes: bitterly disappointed. As far as my sense of identity and beliefs go, happy. But also disappointed that I only got to this point when it basically seems like it’s too late.
I just hope that in this hypothetical situation where my 15 year old self gets a glimpse of me now, that it causes my 15 year old self to do things differently and have a great life in a parallel universe.
It sounds like you feel disappointed in where you are right now. That’s not a nice feeling, it’s hard. What’s caused that disappointment?
Just want to say, I was trying to answer your question without offloading too much, and I’m sorry that I kinda did. We all have problems and I don’t want to make mine yours or anyone else’s. I’m just feeling sorry for myself right now, that’s all. And I’ll probably magically feel better when I get my hands on some herb again. Tbh I’m thinking of deleting my first response because it’s a bit much. Thank you for being kind and asking tho.
It’s fine music I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t ok hearing the answer. You can offload any time
Thank you, awesome person in my phone. It already made me smile early today getting this response, so hopefully today is better than yesterday. Basically the TL;DR is life is shit, everything to make it not shit costs more and more money, and money is scarce and hard to come by and hard to save or do anything worthwhile with when you’re just getting little bits of relief at a time.
But despite the downward spiral I was on yesterday, I do have half a plan of starving and neglecting myself a bit so that I can save up for that teaching English course. I’d love to actually go into programming because there’s probably better money in it but at this point, my brain is too stressed and frazzled for it. So first I need some basic income so that I can try the programming thing when I’m a little more comfortable and less worried about everything.
Thanks for telling me that. That’s a lot to juggle, you need money to survive in life. Nearly everything costs money, even water is billed and it’s sometimes horribly hard to make ends meet. Everything to make life less shit costs money. It grinds you away.
You’re being sensible and you know your limits, you know programming is good money but you’re too frazzled. Looking at alternatives is really sensible… you won’t learn well, and therefore won’t earn if you’re too frazzled to absorb programming. It’s not now or never you can put it on the back burner.
I’m glad you’re reaching out about it, it’s the right thing to do and you need and deserve our support right now. We’ve got your back
Thank you again, it definitely does help to let it out sometimes. And it’s nice to feel like you have a bit of community on here, as opposed to Reddit where you’re just another part of the crowd. I barely used to even look at people’s usernames on Reddit, this dynamic here on Lemmy where you see the same people regularly is new to me. At first I didn’t like it but it’s actually kinda cool.
Yes it feels more like old school message boards where you were a proper community. It was a totally different feel back then
On the note of recognising people around here, I’ve been wanting to ask. What’s up with the other account? Have you got an impersonator on lemmy.world or are you just trying different instances out of curiosity?
I’ve actually been considering making a second account for news and politics, then blocking all of that from this account so that I don’t have to despair and/or rage daily.
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