I find waiting for things physically exhausting. Waiting in lines, waiting sitting in a room, waiting on friends to decide what they want to eat, walking really slowly with an elderly relative: I find it all physically exhausting even though very little physical energy is required.
I have definitely improved on the ‘saying no’ tactic you mentioned or the similar ‘remove yourself from the scenario’ one. Luckily my workplace gives me relatively broad control over my time as long as I’m meeting deadlines and such so it’s more a problem I run into with family or friends. I prefer to run errands and even go on day trips alone and have to fight my preferences to lead a normal social life/be a reasonably active member of my community (which I do value, at least theoretically).
Idk, I don’t know what people mean by community, if it exists - I never found it and to me it might as well be a shadowy organization out of a conspiracy theory, traces supposedly everywhere according to the internet but no sign in real life of any such thing.
I’ll spend time with friends and my S.O. but we’ll find different activities that don’t require long waits.