My disassociations are boring. I basically just stand there while I’m swept away by my chaotic stream of thoughts.

But, I somehow figured out if I let things get super chaotic, it becomes background noise and I’m suddenly meditating. As an added bonus my brain decided that would be my pain response, so now my pain tolerance is crazy high (like getting a vasectomy without anesthesia and only saying ouch under my breath a few times).