it’s more akin to 15 squirrels perched on a branch pissing on me.

I laughed way too hard at this. Mine and my wife’s favorite shower head in a long time has been the Delta showerhead we got at Costco: https://www.costco.com/delta-h2okinetic-in2ition-5-setting-hand-shower.product.100763750.html

Very useful and customizations for each of us like being able to turn off the water during shampoo lathering or shaving and detaching it to rinse off.