Tldr; recovery from an opioid relapse, quit cold turkey, still having some PAWS (heh…but no, post acute withdrawl syndromes)

Been thinking whether or not to share here, but hell, i know yall wouldn’t think any less of me. So, here we go.

There isn’t really a whole lot to tell. Basically, if you’re familiar with kratom, the leaf contains a chemical called 7OH. It’s being sold as a “stronger kratom.” Nuh uh, no way.

I was hooked on tianeptine about 5 or 6 years ago, to the point where i had to shovel grams of white powder down my throat every 2 hours to keep from withdrawing. Couldn’t make it through a full night. Eventually quit cold turkey because i was getting married soon (didn’t work out, while different story), and symptoms lasted me i think 2 or 3 weeks, it was pure hell.

Well, not too long ago 7OH was presented to me as a kratom thing, so I bought some. As soon as I tried it, I knew what it was doing to my brain. Went online and yep, some people say it’s morphine times ten.

Tapered down, and then jumped off completely last week on Wednesday night. Compared to tianeptine, quitting was a walk in the park. Still totally miserable, dont get me wrong, but i was barely shaking. Now, the worst of it is just some lingering background anxiety, and the insomnia. I’m hoping only 1 or 2 more days to level out. I was able fall asleep for a quick nap today in about 25 minutes, so thats a big w.

Ive still been browsing when I need to take my mind off stuff, and have left a few low effort comments, but yeah. Just wanted to tell yall what’s been up with me and where I’ve been.

If anyone needs to vent about substances or talk about recovery, I’m always happy to. In fact, my band is putting out a new record this summer and part of the promo will probably be me doing an interview with a website called Clean And Sober Stoner.

So yeah. Thanks for reading this far, thank you for letting me feel safe for sharing without being judged, and love to all my hexbears Care-Comrade

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Thank god I never had a hankering for those substances (was always more of an amphetamine/white powder/uppers guy in my 20s and 30s which eventually fizzled out - now I just drink and that has subsided substantially into maybe 1-3 drinks Friday nights).

    Well anyhow. Love ya, pal. Hope you feel better. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always hit me up in the DMs.

  • ANarcoSnowPlow [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    We don’t know each other, comrades passing each other on the internet and all, but I always get a smile when I see a post of yours, if for no other reason than your username.

    Please continue to take care of yourself, I hope things continue to get better for you.

    Hugs are praxis, and I’m sending them your way.

  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Love ya conrad. Im having some issues w kratom my self as well. the last 5-6 grams daily are really giving me hell. I get to two 2 gram doses 12 hrs apart, and jfc… yawning non stop, restless and achy legs all day and nite. Sleepy when i need to be awake, awaKe when i need to be sleepy.

    Texas is going to outlaw it soon, and i havent bought kilos of kratom in quite a while because im a fucking addict; if i have it ill find the best reason ever to do it. So i buy retail, small, costly quantities instead. I am going to kick before it gets outlawed because i can find actual opiates all week long and i dont need to go back to opiates because i can no longer get kratom.

    I worked 14 hours today. My day started w a jolt because my apprentice didnt cap the thing i told him to make sure he capped because one thing ive learned is that if people see a valve or a wheel or a switch, labelled or no, someones gonna fuck with it, and guess what happened? Homeowner’s 7 year old saw a ball valve, and grabbed the handle and turned it and walked away without a second thought… and then proceeded to flood a portion of a split level home that was being remodeled. Im the lead plumber/field service supervisor ao it is my job to eat shit sandwiches when this shit happens. Days like today i really want an extra gram or two of kratom, but thats the addict speaking up, and i have to try extra hard to get him to shut the fuck up.

    Im gonna eat an extra edible, an extra tylenol, and go lay on the couch and shitpost til im a sleepyboi, instead. Im not fond of euphemisms from AA, but one day at a time is how it is today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOP
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      17 days ago

      Rock on, glad you’re…I don’t wanna say “learning that about yourself,” that doesn’t feel right at all, but at least seriously thinkin about it. The restless legs are the fucking worst, holy shit, aren’t they? I remember getting off the other shit I took years ago, I was up at 4AM just whacking my limbs against the wall to make the feeling of my bones wanting to peel up go away for a split second.

      If you wanna DM me, I can definitely point you to some helper stuff you can get, if you feel like tapering isn’t for you. I’ve got a whole bigass list of things from over the years that people say help.

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Comrade I’m so glad you’re okay. If you need any support you know where we are. We’re here for you in whatever capacity we can be. You got this take care of yourself

  • Sulv [he/him, undecided]@hexbear.netM
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    17 days ago

    Hope you’re doing okay, I think a lot of people here have dealt with similar stuff, so we understand where you’re coming from.

    What’s important is that your relapse isn’t turning back into habitual use, proud of you!

  • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Glad you made it out of that comrade! I know someone who got suuuuper addicted to Kratom, and he perhaps struggled with psychosis before then, but it became a full blown issue for him after he started using, so, scary stuff. Grateful you made it through without that!

  • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    meow-hug You are almost there! doggirl-thumbsup Keep at it.

    I thought about getting Kratom in the past because of a friend who kept telling me about how much it made him productive but only hear bad things from people who have been on it for a while.

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOP
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      17 days ago

      If you get REGULAR, PLAIN OLD KRATOM you can probably use it for a few weeks and feel pretty ok when you stop. I’ve never had any problems with the plain old plant, but this new shit is a whole different level.

      But, that’s just me, and I’d never recommend taking something that makes you feel good for a really long time unless your doc tells you to. But also I am cursed with an addict’s brain, so the fuck do i know shrug-outta-hecks

          • If it feels anything like phenibut nausea then yuck. I am prone to binging and throwing stuff away while having a bad experience and cursing at it for days only to want it again and hoping it would be different. The mental image of the experience keeps me away.

              • Oooph, spent almost 7 or 8 years on phenibut, up to 10g a day

                That’s just way too long. I couldn’t even be on it for a week. I was a go to work drunk kind of alcoholic previously so there is that.

                GABAgeric drugs are no fuckin joke.

                I have two prescribed to me for neuropathic pain and anxiety right now. I just take it when I get bad flare ups instead of being on it everyday day like the doctors expect me to. and the lorazepam only if I get a panic attack. Te be fair I was even prescribed morphine in the past so this felt like nothing in comparison.