[MAN 2]: Heh, sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles amigo…

MAN 2 cocks gun, smokes entire cigarette

[MAN 2]: and sometimes the cookie crumbles you… …

  • joaomarrom [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 days ago

    This is terrible, I can see that you’re going for “reversal of roles” as a theme with the cookie crumbling you, but you’re making it very difficult for us, the audience, to understand that symbology and follow along. Instead of that, I would suggest that you write it so that the cigarette turns into a person, rolls up MAN 2 and smokes him, followed by the gun turning into another person, cocking the cigarette which has smoked MAN 2 and then transforming again into MAN 2. That would make the scene much more readable.

    • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 days ago

      MAN 2’s gimmick is that he smokes an entire cigarette before every kill, leaving the audience at a point of dramatic climax as they wait ten minutes for him to finish each joke before he shoots the criminal in the head.

      • Leon_Grotsky [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        10 days ago

        If that’s the case, may I suggest that they also roll their own cigarettes and likes to have an amicable conversation with the victim to throw them off guard a little bit while doing it - they’re rolling that cigarette up until they go to lick the paper and then suddenly they’re giving a Kubrick stare to signify they have reached the peak of their derangement!

        • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          10 days ago

          That’s the Happybadger Stare actually. In this movie I zoom in on his face staring into the camera to signify that he reached the peak of his derangement, that being each 10 minute~ cigarette sequence.