Didn’t have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they’re neat and they taste good.
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whining and being sad, talking about self harm in a way that's probably triggering
Feel so lonely and shitty and depressed about my situation. As far as being able to transition, having to transition at all, i know i don’t really have the effort required in me anyway. Anyway just feeling shitty about the situation that’s been upsetting me the last few days and finally snapped. i’m so sick of feeling like shit. Just using a rubber band so no scars so who even cares. not as satisfying or good but whatever. its pain which is good and what i want right now. i’m too stupid and cowardly and whatever else to fix my situation so we make due.
passive si
god i want to wake up dead, i’ve been wanting that, i’m so sick of all this shit. Unfortuantely my “dying in my sleep” polan has not been working out for me and there’s no backup. i have no way to move out and even if i did that only fixes some of it.
I can’t believe this had to be me 😭literally why did i have to be trans. i am not capable of this, i wasn’t before i cracked and i’m not now.
more self harm
anyway going to go play some shitty game I barely care about and feel shitty and hope i die and think about how shitty everything is and how i’m an emberassment to everyone including me and how i should just kill myself already but i’m too freaked out by being gone to actually do it even though life is hell and i have no hope or anything for the future.
Sorry for being unhinged i’m sure i’ll act normal again soon :) :) :)
spoiler
suicide
I would rather be dead then deal with any of this ever again, fuck this, I can’t do it. I broke a while ago and I don’t have it in me.
I don’t see any way things could have worked out better either. I guess I was just born to fail and die. I’m just waiting for it to be over. Please be soon. This is horrible, horrible pain and I can’t.