I only had to listen to my parents verbally fight together for hours every single day/evening for about 3-4 years when I was a kid. That fucked me up pretty bad too and I’m so afraid of and anxious nowadays with my girlfriend and avoid all conflicts if I can and just pull me into myself when there are issues.
I don’t have the same background for it, but currently doing the exact same thing. Tiptoeing around eggshells to avoid conflict of any sort, retreating and agreeing at the slightest sign of friction. Recently started seeing a therapist that made me aware of how incredibly toxic and self-destructive this is. We both gotta be better, take care of yourself man.
Yo, my wife struggles with this. Because I had the same issue with my parents fighting and now any time there’s a conflict I either shut down or fucking panic. She’ll get frustrated and literally just need some time and I’ll go in to survival mode, and generally make things worse. We’ve been together long enough to learn how to cope with that but it was pretty hairy for a little bit.
Bro, get some therapy for that shit. Don’t let it set a coarse for your relationship.
Luckily I have the sweetest girlfriend who does not judge me or say bad things to me ever. We both have had our issues in the past and now we support eachother and it’s really nice. She now knows how I react and understands why and gives me some space. That have actually made me come out of my shell a bit and significantly reduced the anxiety whenever there’s a small disagreement. I’ve slowly learned that disagreement does not equal fighting, but can actually lead to interesting talks about what and why each of us like different things. I can still flinch inside a bit whenever there’s a small disagreement, but have slowly learned to talk about it instead of just locking it up. It has taken years however.
I only had to listen to my parents verbally fight together for hours every single day/evening for about 3-4 years when I was a kid. That fucked me up pretty bad too and I’m so afraid of and anxious nowadays with my girlfriend and avoid all conflicts if I can and just pull me into myself when there are issues.
I don’t have the same background for it, but currently doing the exact same thing. Tiptoeing around eggshells to avoid conflict of any sort, retreating and agreeing at the slightest sign of friction. Recently started seeing a therapist that made me aware of how incredibly toxic and self-destructive this is. We both gotta be better, take care of yourself man.
Yo, my wife struggles with this. Because I had the same issue with my parents fighting and now any time there’s a conflict I either shut down or fucking panic. She’ll get frustrated and literally just need some time and I’ll go in to survival mode, and generally make things worse. We’ve been together long enough to learn how to cope with that but it was pretty hairy for a little bit.
Bro, get some therapy for that shit. Don’t let it set a coarse for your relationship.
Luckily I have the sweetest girlfriend who does not judge me or say bad things to me ever. We both have had our issues in the past and now we support eachother and it’s really nice. She now knows how I react and understands why and gives me some space. That have actually made me come out of my shell a bit and significantly reduced the anxiety whenever there’s a small disagreement. I’ve slowly learned that disagreement does not equal fighting, but can actually lead to interesting talks about what and why each of us like different things. I can still flinch inside a bit whenever there’s a small disagreement, but have slowly learned to talk about it instead of just locking it up. It has taken years however.