So, funny thing: a person’s body language may or may not tell you something about what they’re feeling, but it absolutely has an impact on how you perceive them. When you get advice to make eye contact, or not cross you arms, or ball your hands into fists and cock your arm (no, dude, I wasn’t being aggressive; body language theory is such bullshit), it’s saying less about what your internal mental state and more about how you’re non-verbally communicating to others.
The bullshit part about body language isn’t that it’s not valid, because it is. The bullshit part is that there’s some key that let’s you interpret it unambiguously.
Some people avert their eyes when they lie. Some when they’re disinterested. Some because they have social anxiety. I do it because I simply can’t think clearly when I’m staring into someone’s eyes, because I’m too busy drinking their souls. But when someone is talking and you avoid eye contact, whatever your reasons, they will tend to feel as if you aren’t interested.
Anecdote time! The aunt of a friend was a local politician when Bill Clinton was running for re-election, and he stopped in town, gave a speech and mingled, so she got to meet him. She said his most amazing characteristic was that, when you were taking to him, you felt as if you were the only person in the room. He had no distractions, his eyes didn’t wander to more important people, he wasn’t thinking about other, more important things: when he talked to you, he had all of his attention focused on you, and was only listening to and talking to you.
That’s what I think of when I think of effective body language. Regardless of what really was going on in Clinton’s head, when he talked to someone, he was able to make them feel as if that’s all he was doing: listening to and talking to them.
And as you see you didnt say you are a body language expert and you seem like one so i guess the comic was right.
No idea why you were downvoted. Solid analysis!
Lol your aunt just wanted to fuck Bill Clinton and you turned it into a life lesson on body language.
Oh, come on… everyone wanted to fuck Bill Clinton. Don’t be shy.
Hey bro whatever you’re talking about can’t be that much more important than this angry birds level, keep talking I can multi-task
There’s only one thing more important than Angry Birds, and that’s the factory must grow.
Havent touched factorio yet
I’ve never heard averting eye contact means that. I do it all the time because I’m scared of making eye contact not because I’m disinterested or dishonest
I think that’s the joke
In some cultures, direct eye contact is actually aggressive and disrespectful. Kind of jarring when it happens when you come from a culture where eye contact means you’re paying attention…
The thing about body language is that it’s always context specific. Yours is a common reason in a lot of people who avoid eye contact, especially with strangers. However, if someone who usually doesn’t avoid eye contact suddenly does it, then it’s often because they’re disinterested or dishonest. Or just nervous or stressed. I don’t know. Maybe I’m full of shit too, but I don’t call myself an expert.
If their eyes do that, they might be autistic.
Source: am autistic.
Everybody says they’re autistic.
I know, right? I wish everyone could experience what us autism enjoyers live with everyday.
Living with autism is so fun that many of us are or have been depressed for long periods, some even considering suicide.
Or socially awkward or anxious
Hell I’m generally fine with eye contact, but if I actually want to pause to put thought into an answer, I will absolutely look away so I can get in my head and think!
I always do this when talking. When listening I can focus on eye contact just fine, but my brain will not let me waste cycles trying to maintain eye contact while thinking through communication with someone.
My eyes always do this and I was diagnosed with ADD as a child after an IQ test. Teachers before always accused me of being dishonest and I got into all sorts of trouble because of it.
a lot of people still read me as dishonest
Try reading to the final panel.
It’s a fun subject to talk about regardless. The final panel makes it funny, sure, but I imagine a lot of people like discussing their variety of social quirks with others… and this definitely provides the opportunity.
Alternatively, another social quirk that exists is responding before fully processing something… replying to an email / comic / thread before reading the content completely… THAT is typically a behavior seen in people with ADD.
They can’t. There were eyes in that panel, and therefore their eyes looked away.
I did. What I said still applies.
What? This is technically written so it doesn’t apply to him.
It’s actually both.
Allists! Your eyes are not that interesting! They’re boring to look at 10 minutes straight.
There’s a variety of reasons - some social, some have to do with memory. Brain wiring is weird. When recalling conversations with people I will ‘half insert’ them into the physical space and make eye contact with ‘them’ as I would have in the original conversation. For me it helps with recollection; for the other parties involved I may as well be addressing ghosts.
And if their arms or legs are crossed, they’re probably feeling cold.
Source: am cold.
Or theres a FUCKING SPIDER ON THE CEILING
Depends. Is it cute?
Came here to say this. It’s so hard to look at someone in the eyes.
I don’t know where to look! It’s so awkward.
Bridge of their nose
Look at their right eye. If you look at their left it’ll feel like they’re looking over your shoulder. Lol
Bridge of the nose, or just above it.
Then you notice how far apart their eyes are or there’s a zit there or they’ve a faint monobrow and you wonder if they’ve ever considered shaving it and you just missed most of the last five things they said.
I usually pick something on the wall just to the side of their head and then I get too focused on that and then the conversation is over and I have no idea what just happened.
Youtube Title: “Top CIA agent reveals TOP TEN telltale signs a SUSPECT is LYING”
Thumbnail: a person doing normal things like… scratching head… or touching face
🙄
Also fuck those “crime stories” youtube channels where the narrator keep mentioning the suspect’s “body language” like if its indicative of anything.
Like bruh, they already read the results of the case, of course they know that the suspect is guilty/innocent, that “body language” is just hindsight.
Watching American true crime is painful when we are used to the UK system. Hang on you used a fucking polygraph? Are you actually serious? May as well just go “yeah that guy is giving me bad vibes, so I told him what to say to confess”. Meanwhile in the UK they look for actual evidence and can’t just tell you what to say to make a confession to something you didn’t do.
Stuff like "You said you were at home and have never met them, this evidence shows your DNA on the victim. How can you explain that? "
It is pretty terrible when I watch an American docu and am surprised when a detective/cop or team seems to genuinely care and have a desire to help. So many are horrible people. Audit the Audit is a good one for putting those types on blast.
What they won’t say is that it has nothing to do with any specific body language. You know how some people talk with their hands?
Well everyone has little things like that. In poker they call it a “tell” but that’s still inaccurate compared to what interrogaters are really doing.
They can’t actually tell if anyone bullshits or not. They have facts about the case, or in the CIA example they have intelligence. They use lie detectors and what not to create anxiety in the
victimsuspect/asset. When someone is in sufficient fear, they will let information slip because the brain literally loses control over itself. Too much fear, like in torture, and the brain will force the person to choose whatever answer it feels like will result in self preservation.
I just don’t know what to do with my hands most of the time and sometimes shoulder pain…
Shoulder pain. I tuck my hands under my arms in such a way to kinda prop my shoulders into a position of comfort. Pretty much everything I do is just looking for the position of comfort all the time. I get some anxiety like most people from time to time, but my mannerisms are for every situation. Comfort is key.
What’s disappointing is that body language can definitely help to determine how people are feeling or what they are thinking, but the people who are into it the most just seem to forget it’s not a foolproof method to completely determine the truth.
Had me ready to rant until the last frame… well played.
This comic is perfect. I was starting to get annoyed after the second panel and it did exactly what I was thinking.
What’s it mean if I never break eye contact and maintain a blank expression?
