smoke cigs

[REDACTED]

70 arrows into paper every afternoon.

Without you sharing some context it’s hard to suggest anything precise. I mean, are you talking about sudden frustrations or long-lasting ones? Sudden and unexpected or constant and relentless? Caused by yourself to yourself or by other persons? Caused by some physical issue/pain?

• Long walks. This is like magic to me. Plus it helps get in much better shape physically and mentally (better blood flow helps the brain works better or something like that).
• Writing, sketching. Longhand with pen and paper. As far as I’m concerned, it’s much slower than typing which also helps thinking slower, which helps take a step back and consider whatever the issue is.
• The most useful tool I have: if the source of my frustration is something I can’t change (that’s the keyword: I must know I can’t change it), I will accept it or I will ignore it if you prefer. I will forget about its existence, accept the nuisance, zap it out of my mind. It’s one trick that can be learned with practice (aka with… more frustration), that’s really worth it. Philosophers may refer to that practice as stoicism, but it’s not exclusive to the stoics. For me it’s all about my available energy and time (time I have in a day and time I have to be… alive, on this planet). I have a limited amount of energy I can spend each day, I have only 24h a day and I have a limited amount of days remaining to live. Why would I want to waste them on stuff I can’t change or that will only make things worse (since I can’t change them)? So, I don’t waste my time with those ;)

I need stupid, unadulterated and reckless fun. I want to play games that allow me to be the biggest asshole. I’ll go on public chat rooms like ChatAvenue and just piss off a room with my antics. I just want chaos of some sort because just listening to music, watching things and doing whatever don’t do it for me as much anymore.

Wank

I don’t. I keep that brooding inside of me, indefinitely.

Some people say physical activity helps. Something proper, that gets you exhausted.

Different ways, depending on how I feel.

• Music. Metal, mostly. Something I can turn up and get into.
• Sing along or scream. Ideally in the car on the freeway, so I don’t have to worry about scaring the neighbors.
• Something active or active-ish. Cooking something complicated. Practicing the piano/keyboard. Bike ride. Gym, so you can punch stuff. Or a long walk with something to listen to.
• Vent to a friend.
• Write it out and delete it.
• Stew in it for longer than I should.

Sometimes with music. I quite like death and black metal, and I find listening to that loud or playing guitar along with it (also loud) to be quite a cathartic experience. Other times I need more peace, though. I like walking and climbing hills, any nice spot of nature, so I go out and do that at the earliest opportunity. My health and the weather around here can limit the opportunity for that sometimes, but it’s good when circumstances permit

YMMV but I’ve found meditation helps.

Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes and focus on slowing down your breathing and try to feel your heart rate slow. After a minute or two, then try to think of nothing, or listen for the quietest sound you can hear and focus on that (a ticking clock in another room, someone else breathing, etc).

Now this is where it may be different for you. I was diagnosed with adhd has a kid and what I’m describing next is with that in mind. Basically all day my brain feels like it’s full of bees, sometimes less active, other times it’s a deafening buzz.

After a few further minutes of focusing on that quite sound, I’ll find individual things randomly pop in to my head, rather than a bunch all at once. Each time this happens I focus on what that thing is, and how it makes me feel. If for example I get angry, I let myself feel that, I don’t try and stuff it down, but I don’t let it overwhelm me. If I start to feel overwhelmed, I go back to the beginning and focus on slowing down my breathing.

In effect I’m trying to observe, and experience, that emotion simultaneously. This helps me do two things, first and foremost, I have much better - and healthier - control of my emotions during negative experiences (e.g. high stress), and can keep myself calm. Second, it allows me to go back to those emotions after the fact, and spend time working out why that experience led to that emotional response.

For frustration, sure, you can wail on a punching bag while blasting Hammer Smashed Face (which is very good in the moment), but I’ve found that that didn’t help me handle my emotions any better, it just meant I took out that repressed anger on other things. Which, sure, is probably better than nothing, but doesn’t help it you don’t have access to a punching bag.

With Vaseline, obviously.

Music.

All of this

I go for a drive. The more frustrated I am, the faster I drive (within safe bounds)

Like what kind of frustration? I feel like I don’t stew on things and it’s pretty rare to be mad about something the next day.

For better or worse I find it hard to care about things that are out of my control