There’s a relationship cheat code I use all the time. It usually stops everything in it’s tracks and sets you on a much more positive path, especially if they’re not used to you doing this. When you find yourself at that point in a conversation where you’re about to shout something like “OH FFS! WHAT’S THE MATTER NOW?!” instead… you pause, look at them, tilt your head a bit, narrow your eyes thoughtfully and say as calmly as you can “What do you need?”. No matter how mad they get after that you just keep asking that question until they respond to it. If you haven’t done that before it may take them a while to even notice you asked that question. Just keep going. Oh also top tip… when they tell you what they need don’t invalidate it. It’s hard for a lot of people to directly tell you what they actually need. If they do then they’re trusting you to listen. Breaking that trust will take you right back to square one.