don’t fucking lecture me by saying that i “don’t need others to validate me since i’m already a woman” or that “i don’t ACTUALLY need others to validate/affirm me, i can do it myself”.

like yes i can do that but it fucking hits different when someone else says that. especially if it’s someone close to you.

but apparently it’s too hard for some people to tell a trans woman in need that they’ll “always be a woman”. even if you explicitly fucking request that. even if that someone is your partner who also happens to be a trans woman.

apparently according to her i don’t need anyone else “to tell me that” because “i’m already a woman”

i hate this constant dismissal of what i need. just tell me what i want and i’ll get out of your fucking way.

makes me wonder what’s the point of having friends/partners even is when you can’t even depend on rely on others and ALWAYS GOTTA FUCKING DO EVERYTHING YOURSELF to get what you want

  • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    no, it’s not too much and it sounds like your partner acted carelessly, and that’s putting it generously. it’s verging on a toxic individualism. i would try to make it clear to her what she did and how it made you feel (dismissed, frustrated etc.) you may have done that already but just a warning, failure to communicate this now could make it a bigger issue down the line - building resentment, etc. especially if this is a pattern of behavior which it sounds like it might be, you gotta make that clear to her and underline that it’s a problem.

    above all I’m sorry you were treated that way. your feelings of dismissal and frustration are completely valid. and it should ALWAYS be ok to ask a partner for validation even for little things. it’s a total bare minimum expectation in my view.