• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    3 hours ago

    Honestly? It’s about how you say it, and the person you’re with. You can’t say the same thing to everyone, it has to be genuine and “customized”. Which, I guess, comes down to making the right guess based on the interaction.

    An example. My wife and I have a very well matched sense of humor, and find joy in each other’s bodies. For her, me coming up with the silliest, most absurd ways to say it is part of the fun. So, when I have access to her boobs and say “gee Mrs Magoo, I haven’t felt boobs this nice since my kindergarten teacher that one time in the bathroom.”, it works she laughs, and she knows I love her body as much as her. But I can also be flowery if I want because she knows it isn’t bullshit.

    But, one ex of mine was what you might call rigid about sexual matters, and if I said something like that, it would have been over even sooner. But, telling her “I’m really lucky to be able to be with you like this” after running my hands over her breasts took it away from being “sexual” in her mind by virtue of vagueness. It would make her smile and kiss me.

    There’s no single way to go about it. It’s a matter of being in the moment, being connected.