things are going pretty good. just published my latest blog post; i might toss it over here as its own post later today, who knows

  • Alice@beehaw.org
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    17 days ago

    Up and down. I had a good day with my niece, we drew pictures and made pins. I also donated blood for the first time and I’m kind of proud of that, since I’m so squeamish about needles. I also took up singing again even though I’m really bad at it. I just do it quietly now, and it’s been a nice distraction when I hate my job.

    Made progress on my mood issues, too. Therapy didn’t help, but so far, lifting weights until I’m too tired to be angry has been helping a lot. I don’t cause any problems for people and I go home and fall asleep immediately.

    But damn, I still miss my friend after two weeks. Someone told me I sound obsessive and I think they’re right. Someone else told me that most friendships don’t actually last that long anyway and aren’t that deep. So I guess I’m coming at things with an intensity that really isn’t normal.

    Also I’ve been short of breath since the blood donation, so I’ve had to cut back on lifting and singing even though they were really helpful for the first half of the week.

    • autumn (she/they)@beehaw.org
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      17 days ago

      Therapy didn’t help

      there are lots of different kinds of therapy, so i hope it doesn’t completely discourage you from ever going again. bee heart emoji

      • Alice@beehaw.org
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        17 days ago

        Are there? I’ve only ever been able to find CBT and EMDR and they’re exactly the same. The first session of EMDR, we did the thing the name describes, but every session after that she just wanted to talk and it was basically a worse rehash of CBT.

        • autumn (she/they)@beehaw.org
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          17 days ago

          the individual therapist matters a lot. i know friends who have gone through many before landing on one that actually helped them. i know that’s not ideal, but it is an option. it’s also a slow process for lots of folks.

          two friends of mine are actually on ketamine treatments to help with their mental health after trying everything else.

          • Alice@beehaw.org
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            17 days ago

            Thank you, that’s reassuring. I’m glad your friends were able to find help.