Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.
I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.
So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.
I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?
There was a non-trivial chance that OP could get battered or straight up murdered without any knowledge or consent able to be given if the husband were to ever find out. The other party took zero of the steps available to mitigate this possibility.
There’s a non-trivial chance that this behavior puts their children in danger because the offending party is making risky decisions to cover up their indiscretion. It’s impossible to know.
Maybe the “investigation” removed the woman into doing something unconscionable.
In any number of imaginary situations, the OP took the morally correct approach and your approach could have gotten someone hurt or killed by inaction. It’s an incredibly morally ambiguous position to be put in and this guy did what he felt was right, it’s hard for me to pass that kind of judgement on him.
blaming the woman for the theoretical actions of her theoretically murderous husband, nice. not engaging with this misogynistic nonsense. tbh women in cishet relationships cheating is basically nbd anyway, couldn’t care less.
C’mon.
Yeah no that’s a shitty thing to say.
This is a very wild position to have and is proof that, when I ascend to Stalinhood, all sex and romantic relationships will be banned.
Stalin definitely fucked though
Also, no offense but please, touch grass and consider the human element of things. Cheating generally sucks but there’s a whole world of circumstances out there (many of which are far more common than you’d like to know) which would excuse or even justify it in varying degrees, and even if we’re to assume uncharitable things, they’re still human beings (who have messed up in doing very human things).
That’s why he stopped at Berlin.
Also, no offense taken. I live an extremely grass-filled life, I just can’t handle inconsistency. I understand that circumstances may justify unfaithfulness to a spouse, but completely lying about it to the guy who made the post means you’re just a piece of shit. That clearly hits a raw nerve with a lot of people but it’s not really a gray area.
Idk, I’ve been in pretty controlling abusive situations and it’s taken me a long time to be open about them, even to my therapists. I don’t think that’s a level of duplicity that means my abuser is right for abusing me. That sort of situation makes a person cagey as hell and terrified of losing any social connections outside of the abusive relationship.
It might be nothing, maybe the couple actually do this all the time and nothing untoward is happening at all, but it happens often enough that it’s worth not jumping the gun.