totally a blast to sit in a little box surrounded by other little boxes with angry people in them, me following all the rules and hoping not to get maimed by some drunk or other type of asshole trying to shave 30 seconds off their trip that they enjoy so much.
Looking at an ocean of barely distinguishable vroom vrooms and lamenting the wasted metal and concrete used to prop up an industry designed to make movement and organizing harder.
A mass of self-convinced “Main Characters” mad at all the “NPCs” around them.
I’m the main character, angwy at all the non-productive consoomers clogging up the arteries of merikkka by buying a slightly different quietly exploding box with wheels to differentiate themselves from their neighbor Jim.
Yep. Le
That’s what my bourgeois pizza slave is for, I don’t drive.
Surrender the fascist credit card
Maybe there really are people who are convinced by cutesy ads that patronizingly talk down to them like they’re little toddlers, but when I see one all it motivates me to do is to find whoever designed it and shoot them
For some reason, one of the commercials that pissed me off the most in the early 2000s was one that had a quirky techbro voice say “You’re smart. We know you’re smart. That’s why you already know (bank name) for all your banking needs.”
Then they have a massive data breach
Was listening to a commercial go on and on about how great it is to drive yada yada. Like the freedom is nice and all and you can be much more self reliant. But they do know everyone drives right? That there’s not an infinite space to build lanes? Traffic?
Wtf? Are they using those terms to push back against the rising tide of people realizing how much driving sucks?
No those are my thoughts on it being in car hell (Florida). But they go on and on about the pedals and ohhh isn’t it just dandy to drive, things like that. If it’s overcast I’m fine with biking 5ever but the heat has made me literally sick before just trying to play mtg at a somewhat close by lgs. So yeah kinda essential in America’s dong as of late. That and while Pinellas is decent with their buses, it could be MUCH better. Can’t wait to get back to massive two shits. Though I doubt it’ll be any better, at least I’ll get free college (eventually)
the best is all the suv commercials where some chad just decides he’s gonna make his own path through the {desert, mountains, forest, praire} and veers off the road as if the vehicle wouldn’t immediately be totaled and he gets arrested or shot for trespassing
9001% testosterone man that definitely sired corpse husband talking over an SUV or pickup or semi (penis size is correlated to how deep your voice is and how much you can HAUL) going through treacherous or rugged terrain or seemingly impossible feats like catching a front wheel of a plane in the bed of the truck. Or a sedan or ‘luxury’ car speeding through one of Chynas many ghost cities(I guess that, or it’s some dystopia, or they’ve got a really robust subway system, like a cross between the car tunnels in irobot and midgar from ff7, but not completely dumb because there’s tracks instead of of 30 lanes with cars going around 500mph
)
There is never traffic in car ads
There’s usually a life changing epiphany speech about what kind of pack leader alpha with a vision drives that particular treat on wheels, however.
I know… I might not have been clear with how I typed my statement.
Car salesman: *enthusiastically pats your head: *
That’s right, who’s a good consumer? Who’s a good consumer?!
or if you prefer to stick to the meme: This good boy can fit so many treats in him!
Having to drive is literally the worst part about having a craving for a treat.
if having to drive yourself was a treat, then nobody would be ordering delivery
Amerikkkans can have a little car, as a treat
little car
little
HWHUT?!
I fucking hate driving and would never drive again if that was an option, death to driving. If driving is a “treat”, then treats must be destroyed.
no treat as sweet as the American nightmare.
Driving is only fun if there’s nobody else on the road so the more cars that are sold the lesser the chance you can have fun driving so actually every car ad is a threat to your drivetreats and you should do a
on advertisers to defend your treats.(CW: meat)
It was me and I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
