I think both of us are more on the demisexual spectrum.

In posts I made during the last trans mega while we were sorting this stuff out, people had asked me if she was ace. And I was having fears that sex was completely off the table because I would still like to explore my own sexuality, especially now that it’s changing.

My libido was making it hard to sort out needs of physical intimacy (like cuddling all night) from sexual needs that had been historically expressed through the patriarchal/heteronormative lens. So her getting aroused helped me to see that she’s still attracted to me as a woman, and that she needs some space from sex and to take it slow because of our history. Which wasn’t really satisfying for either of us.