So, I’m currently dating someone, and it’s my first time dating. I was a kissless virgin before this but I’m not kissless anymore ^^. Anyway, we get along really well, sharing a lot of interests and similar views. They’re a “newer” lefty, but they have a good head on their shoulders and are open to learning. We’re really excited about each other. We’ve talked a lot over voice chat, had three dates so far, and exchange a bit of daily texting. At this point, I’m pretty sure we’re going to become a couple, maybe even for a longer time.

Today is our 4th date, but I do not intend to tell them I love them because I’m not really sure how love feels. I definitely feel attraction, and it seems very mutual. I guess my question is: When do I tell someone I love them, and how do I know when I truly love them?

Im asking because this is literally my 1st time dating and I have never been involved in anything romantic.

  • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 months ago

    I’m not a native english speaker, but seems like a heavy phrase for a fourth date, you gotta know them better

    Something more appropiate I think could be “I’m really falling for you” / “I’m in love” / “I’m really enthraled” / “I’m really arrowed [by cupid, (im pretty sure you don’t have this idiom)]”

    • Comp4 [she/her]@hexbear.netOP
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      3 months ago

      I agree that it is to early to tell them I love them. My question is when is the right time and how do I know when that is. (Im not a native anglo either)

      • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        You’ll feel it when it’s time, that’s really the only way lol

        I told my first ex I loved them before we started dating, don’t recommend that. Told my most recent ex I loved them after she said it to me first, and it was probably too early at a couple months and a handful of dates in but I was fine with it - I had wanted to say it earlier than she did.

        I dunno, you just feel it. There’s no like guide or whatever. It’s like trying to describe what being sad or being angry is… you just feel you’re in love and the time you say it is probably going to be the right time.

      • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        3 months ago

        It’s always good to both know how engaged is the other part, in case any would like to go slower (or faster I guess). And it’s important to be honest at it, cuz maybe saying “I love you” sounds like you are probably exagerating right now. Sure, you feel a strong conection, but how much do you actually know the other person to tell then that?

        So, tell them you are falling hard for them, but wait some (months? Weeks? Idk mate you just feel it lol