Everyone knows relationships are hard work. Everyone knows that relationships hit roadblocks and whatever the fuck else. Fucking why. What’s the point? Be with a person that you mostly tolerate most of the days that you exist? And even then, they still might betray you in a horrible way. I’ve dealt with a lot of pain and stress and loss in my life, and when the happy shit gets sour, I just don’t fucking get it. Why not just live my life fucking off and dying eventually.
You are completely free to do that. Most people get lonely - everyone doesn’t need a romantic partner per se, but a lot of people do and that’s fine as well. Everyone has to figure out what they want, and what they’re willing to do to make it happen.
As a stranger on the internet, I’ll just draw attention to “mostly tolerate” as something a therapist (which I am not) would probably want you to elaborate on. That does not sound like a healthy relationship, which explains why you take a dim view of them.