It’s also a way better conversation starter. I honestly don’t like to center the stereotypical “let’s talk hormones and how our coming out went” trans conversations irl. It’s not as if i’m avoiding these subjects, but if i can’t bond with a person over other queer experiences than that, over trans and lesbian culture, over weird special interests and inside jokes, if we only interact as medical cases and not as people and turn the conversation into an impromptu self help group, i will likely leave that conversation feeling worse than before. I don’t want to hear your E2 levels, i want you to infodump about medieval siege weapons and hyperpop so i can infodump about cretaceous ecoystems and modular synthesizers later on.

I know that’s something many early transition folks will disagree with, but after just a few years, you’ve had that talk a thousand times, it’s been at the center of hundreds of online threads, it just gets stale and opens up old wounds that should be left to heal. And it leaves no room for the things in my life that make me glad to be trans. I connect with other trans people to find new friendships and maybe more than that, or to organize, i’m out there with my fellow queers to live together, not to suffer together.