Yeah I’ve been trying to identify ego dystonic feelings to identify what is OCD and what isn’t (this only works so much though because the more I think about it the more I can’t identify what’s real and what isnt).
But I definitely am way more scared I’m cis than I am scared that I’m gonna have to continue living as a trans woman. Like I want to live as a trans woman, I want to be a woman. My fears are really that I’m not going to be able to for whatever reason and then I’ll have to detransition. Which is a pretty trans fear to have also. Like it would be logistically way easier for me to be cis and live as a cis man forever. The world would be set up for me.
this only works so much though because the more I think about it the more I can’t identify what’s real and what isnt
Yeah, it really messes with you like that. If you find yourself ruminating a lot on your thoughts, it might be a mental compulsion; of course idk your specific brain experience though, I’m just speaking from my own. I’m really sorry that you’re experiencing all of this rn and I hope things get better soon
Rumination is my main compulsion, as well as obsessively researching and Googling to sooth my fears. Usually when I get stuck in these loops I am stuck for 3-5 hours before I can pull myself out :(
And yeah its a process I really hope so too though :/
Yeah I’ve been trying to identify ego dystonic feelings to identify what is OCD and what isn’t (this only works so much though because the more I think about it the more I can’t identify what’s real and what isnt).
But I definitely am way more scared I’m cis than I am scared that I’m gonna have to continue living as a trans woman. Like I want to live as a trans woman, I want to be a woman. My fears are really that I’m not going to be able to for whatever reason and then I’ll have to detransition. Which is a pretty trans fear to have also. Like it would be logistically way easier for me to be cis and live as a cis man forever. The world would be set up for me.
Yeah, it really messes with you like that. If you find yourself ruminating a lot on your thoughts, it might be a mental compulsion; of course idk your specific brain experience though, I’m just speaking from my own. I’m really sorry that you’re experiencing all of this rn and I hope things get better soon
Rumination is my main compulsion, as well as obsessively researching and Googling to sooth my fears. Usually when I get stuck in these loops I am stuck for 3-5 hours before I can pull myself out :(
And yeah its a process I really hope so too though :/