TALLAHASSEE, FL—Touting the legislation as a common-sense victory for family values, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed a new law Thursday requiring all Florida women to produce three healthy, white sons by the date of their 22nd birthday. “The production of white daughters will not be penalized, but they will be seized by…
    • AItoothbrushEnglish
      65•4 months ago

      I didnt know the onion got new management but seems like its working.

      • gregorumEnglish
        130•4 months ago

        It got bought by a group of super fans who specifically formed a company just to buy it and return it to its former glory. They even plan to bring back ONN!

        Edit: the company the super fans formed is called Global Tetrahedron Corp, which long-time The Onion fans will recognize as the (now formerly) fictional global megacorp featured in countless past articles.