Oh god, one of these threads? Here we go…
>be in third grade at a school assembly
>have to shit real bad, feeling ill and feverish
>we all get seated on the gym floor
>holy fuck Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets’ NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets)
>still have to shit so bad that I’m having cold sweats
>wearing gymshorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn’t wear any, felt good man)
>Hugo the Hornet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting back down
>starting to feel dizzy from holding in my shit
>see him walking my way
>he’s coming RIGHT FOR ME
>he picks me up and begins to flip me over
>he’s squeezing my gut
>as I’m upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through the air gracefully
>start screaming
>gets all over Hugo and sprays all over the kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well
>it also gets all over my face and in my mouth because I was screaming
>Hugo then drops me on my fucking head, into a pile of my own shit, hear him loudly say “WHAT THE FUCK”
>Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor.
>the music has stopped, the room is dead silent
>assume the fetal position
>covered in my own shit and can’t stop farting/shitting as I lay there
>start crying
>pass out
>wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at a distance
>the tiny breathable holes in my gymshorts work like a shit colander, leaking shit water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts
>pass out again
From then on i was “The kid who shit on Hugo the Hornet”