Every account you ever had, every post/comment you ever posted, now has your real name, a photo of you, and your address, all just magically show up on the webpage right next to each of your posts/comments (also, no “hacking” could hide the info). All deleted posts/comments are magically restored and nothing you do (short of permanently shutting down the website and physical destruction of the servers) can delete them. (Any edits would still show every change you made.) How fucked are you?
And don’t think about changing your name, or moving, all this info updates in real time. (for “magic” reason)
(You also cannot delete any future posts.)
I would hope that all the politicians and celebrities people actually parasocially care about would get all the attention something like this would stir up and compared with how awful so many of them are in public, even the worst posts of mine would hopefully end up pretty tame in comparison to whatever they’re up to anonymously.