All is in flux.

All is uncertainty.

I recognize that at the decrepitude of 27 years of age, I am past the height of cool.

The world will shift, and I will jog to meet it or be left behind.

But if there is any mercy in you, Gen Z – flared, bootcut, straight legged, pegged, wide legged, pleated mercy – please do not bring back low waist jeans.

They looked awful on those of us who weren’t thin even when we were young.

I will not return to that suffering. Please do not inflict it on each other.